Dear Teenage Dami,
Shut up! Seriously shut up, stop moaning and being sad about how ‘you are pretty sure your life sucks and you have it the absolute worst like!’
Sounds harsh yes, but it’s true life is not all roses, instead its roses with a LOT of thorns.
But that doesn’t make it less beautiful or less worthy to take time to plant and nurture. But you don’t know this yet, you won’t know for a while….
Put down the phone, get away from the computer, or whatever it is you’ve gotten so good at wasting time on. Go out,get some exercise, take deep breaths, feel better good. Exercise helps, when your mind gets cluttered it helps. Do it often.
Let me start with your education, Awh man! You hate school. You don’t hate all of it, you enjoy the part of being with your friends and the extracurricular but because you don’t ‘get’ maths you think you hate school. Fact is, you will make it through maths. And English. And that stupid French homework. And everything else in between. And no! trigonometry will not matter and will not even be of use to you 10 years from now. But what will matter is knowing you could have done better, you could have put in more effort, instead of that extra hour of pointless hours spent on Bebo/Facebook, you could have been learning and improving your writing, you could have picked up a book and learnt something new.
Once you start putting in the effort then don’t worry, don’t let fear eat away at you, yes it is important that you do well in school, but really your life is not over because you didn’t make that grade you wanted, in fact you’ll make it to university, study a course you loved and have a blast while doing it. So NO, you are not stupid, fact you’ll come to realize just how smart and savvy you are, don’t let anybody tell you otherwise by the way. Oh and those school friends that you really cannot live without now, don’t fret it because 10 years from now you won’t even remember why they mattered so much to you. Instead you would have met so many more amazing people, people who actually motivate you, listen to your thoughts and fears, advice you and most of all help you feel better when you need it most. Those will be your friends for many more years to come. Open your heart, be generous, be kind, but above all be forgiving.
Talk! If something is bothering you just talk.. talk to people who you can trust, even adults have been where you are right not so they may not act like they do, but they do get it. So talk to them, you might not get the answer you want, you’ll get the answer you need.
Stop it! Stop staring at the mirror thinking how that girl staring you back is not pretty enough or not skinny like the other girls, or how her face is covered in acne, or how she doesn’t have the latest hairstyle, or the latest clothes because guess what? it doesn’t matter! The people who those things matter to, they don’t matter and you shouldn’t let them get into your head anyways. You are beautiful! Hold your head up high, walk like the amazing human you are and do the things that genuinely bring you happiness, you’ve never been one to follow the crowd, no need to start now.
Don’t fall under peer pressure! It’s not worth it. Never do anything you are pressured into doing and don’t feel comfortable doing. In time you’ll learn its super cool to stand out and be unique. See that 1 stick of cigarette, yea let that be the last one, it’s awful! Get that out of your system but don’t waste your money and destroy your health on something so futile. Spend your money on travel instead that’s way more fun.
Baby girl you need to experiment, yes experiment! you don’t want end up 10 years from now regretting the things you didn’t do simply because you didn’t keep an open mind, do satisfy your inquisitive nature but please do it sensibly. Whatever you do, do not do drugs! don’t touch it, don’t try it. don’t tolerate people who do it, don’t stand for it. There’s nothing glamorous about it, it goes downhill very quickly and it is not worth your life.