Lessons from a big sister – She’s going through her own things

I’m going to try keep this short and sweet!

So it was my sister’s birthday yesterday, and as I wished her the yearly birthday wishes (without even knowing where on earth she was) I couldn’t help but really think about what I said to her, and how much she really does mean to me. Which got me reminiscing of the good times, the great times and those horrible times cause yes when your sister purposely locks you out of the house in freezing cold after an exhausting flight, I count that as horrible. (I don’t care what mum says you were adopted and I stand by my story)

With my sister our relationship has always been weird, we love each other dearly but we are complete enemies most times, we simply just can’t seem to get along. From little girls, through to our teenage years we’d fight about everything and anything, we just couldn’t seem to agree on anything and now as adults I often wonder why she couldn’t just think like me, or act like me or just even see things from my perspective and agree with me, but honestly with the sister I have, she’d still disagree even if it kills her.

The role of a big sister can sometimes be complex especially when you have a head strong and severely opinionated big sister who is still finding her own way, throw in a younger sister who is audacious, unafraid but open-hearted and you’ve got yourself a muddled mess somewhere in-between.

Anyways on to the point of this write-up, a while ago I read a quote somewhere that said

‘she is going through her own things’

it resonated with me at this moment and got me thinking how that applies to us. Often times because we were raised together, so close in age I just assumed that we’d share similar goals/views and perspective, cause naturally we’d be best friend. I forgot that underlying the fact we were born exactly 18 months apart, as time passed we learnt our own life lessons separately, things translated different to you as they did to me, you were growing and you were dealing with your own struggles, insecurities, boy problems, parents issues, educational woes and on and on, but somehow I forgot that you were your own person, and instead I saw you just as D’s sister and thought D’s sister should act like D.

Little did I know that what I’ll get instead is Dammi’s sister who is every bit her own person, strong-willed and emotional. So as I come to terms with this revelation(I know it’s taken me 25 years), allow me to apologize for being wrong, although I believe those fights have toughened you up, those angry words and disagreements have shaped who you are, an all-around beautiful being, and for that I am proud and will continue to be ever so proud.

So on your birthday, I wish you nothing but joy in every way you chose to live your life, I hope I have somehow done my job and equipped you as a big sister with the confidence to strike out on your own, to continue fighting anyone and anything that wants you to fall in line (apart from me! please stop fighting me, cause you know I’m a control freak) and I hope that every step of the way will bring you content and unending blessings.

But you know should you ever need someone I stand in your corners always.

So guys, help me in wishing my sister the happiest of birthdays thus far.

To all big sisters, maybe you have siblings that you really just can’t seem to get along with not matter how hard you try, just try to think their thoughts, cut them a little slack and the next time you get into with your sister, mother, friend just think she is going through her own things and take it down a notch or two 😉

I know, I know, I said this will be short.  Hope you can forgive me for getting carried away, I’m really trying to learn to keep it short and sweet.

Still million thank you’s for reading!!!


Love & Light Dx

PS: I would really love if you shared this all the way.

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2 Comments

  • Reply
    Toyin
    January 17, 2017 at 7:37 am

    Well done……This is what being the elder means…..seems like I am not the only 1 going thru things with my sister. Praying for changes ?

    • Reply
      Dammi Sherri
      January 17, 2017 at 9:46 am

      Aww thank you so much Toyin for reading. I’m glad we actually see that there’s holes and that’s the first step to building a better relationship. Amen. Changes will come as long as the love remains. Love D x ps; don’t be a stranger to the blog 🙂

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