Hi all. It’s Sharon, back again, told you I’d be back real soon….so let’s talk..
One of the tough question I find myself asking in the world of dating is “When is it ever okay for you to give a man your money ???”
In the past few weeks this question has been on my mind. I’ve been seeing a guy for a couple of weeks now (notice I said weeks and not months ooo. He is a really good guy, he works and he’s very open with me and seems like he’s steering his career in the right direction. I actually really enjoy his company but all the red lights went on the minute he asked me for some money (well asked to borrow)….
And this made me balk! The alarms were blaring.
My previous relationship ended due to money matters, I loved my ex so much that giving him money was never a problem (I never even had to think of it) because I was sure if the tables turned he would do the same for me.
But the way we humans are set up the minute we are given an inch we take a mile. . After a while Mr Perfect (my ex) turned on me, things that would normally anger him he would ignore and I felt like the only reason the relationship was surviving was because there was money involved.
So one day we had an argument and a guy friend of mine picked me up, got home around 4am and Mr perfect knew I was in the company of an interested male but he didn’t even flinch! as in nothing, no drama, no reaction, ABSOLUTELY nothing. At that stage I knew he wasn’t with me anymore, he was being nice because he had to not for the sake of love again, I had become to him a means of survival, his ATM.
Before you get all judgemental on me, I know it’s difficult for a man to accept help from a woman but I honestly believe a man HAS to be a man. Some could argue and say it’s the 21st century and blah blah and it’s only fair that everyone is an equal partner in the relationship but I stand on the fact that a man should be a MAN.
Ladies I don’t care if you have a higher source of income or your source of income is steadier than his, I strongly believe that if you get into the habit of financially supporting a man, it could quickly become a mighty slippery slope, one that could eventually ruin the relationship.
I personally believe that love should bring you excitement , joy and happiness and no REAL man who truly loves and wants to be with his woman would financially hang all of his burden on her, let alone let her be carrying his baggage up and down!