For better or for better? 

Today as the world celebrates Barack Obama and all that comes with him. In his true fashion he dedicated his journey thus far to his wife and her role in getting to where they are today.

She truly is a woman of outstanding strength and unshakeable grace. 

With all the hullabaloo in the press and on social media there’s an underlining theme of women and their roles in supporting their partners.

and me being the over thinking sally that I am, wondered if our generation of quick in, quick out still believes in that? 

Do we still hold on to the idea that you not only have to uplift your man and keep him grounded but also root for him? I’m not sure. Which is why I ask the question are we still prepared to stand by our partners, instead of simply wanting an automatic life of luxury, are we still prepared to forgo certain things now without knowing what might come of it later? 

Growing up I was told as a good woman we stand by our partner, we encourage them, we help them, we build with them, we stand for them and by them. That’s part of the essence of a woman in a relationship right?

But as I’ve grown older there seems to be a disconnect from what I was told and what I’m seeing to be true. I see women who aren’t willing to wait anymore, no longer are women will to raise their men, or allow our dreams to take a back seat for his to shine, no longer are women willing to forgo so he can have.

Imagine if Mrs O had said to Mr O, listen I really can’t pause my budding career after an expensive ivy league education to follow you around chasing your own very large dreams? Even after points of failure, she held steadfast onto Mr O’s dream and supported him all the way to the finish line.

These days we see women who can barely move cities for their partners, never mind leave their careers.

And you know what? I don’t blame or think any less of these women for it. For so long we’ve been told we can’t, and now that we know we can, that our dreams are valid, we are scrambling to sort ourselves out first, we want for ourselves things we never thought we could have, but somewhere along we’ve forgotten how to have these things that we want while helping our partners get the things they want too. Or maybe it is not possible?

Yes our generation is breaking boundaries, and redefining what a woman can be, should be, will be, we are top litigators, scientist, entrepreneurs, unbeatable financial gurus, premium entertainers and so on.

But are we doing one at the expense of the other?

I look at Mrs Obama and I see in her what I hope my children will someday see in me, A woman who in every right can hold her own, but will still support and enrich her partner at every step of the way, willing to make sacrifices for him and happily live with her choices however difficult they are.

Anyway I don’t think this is a one way street either, I believe it should be the same for men supporting their partners, but really how many men can give up their own for their woman’s own to supersede? Now that’s a whole topic for another day.

I do believe this is a varied and of course extensive topic, there’s so much more than just this little bit I focus on and many more ways to look at it. Some women and men will only partner with someone who has already achieved their dreams! and some don’t wish to grind with anybody, they’d rather do their own and have their partners do theirs separately too and then they’ll come together. And some won’t even start theirs without their partners.

What are your thoughts on this? What are your personal experiences? how far would you go to hold down your partner? Have you ever had to give up something for your significant other?

I’d love to know.

Love & Light Dx

These are simply some of the thoughts that run through my single twenty-something mind.

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